I really think i am born with the truly wonderful innate talent of messin' up all relationships. wish it was easier. i wish i had a beautiful voice so just asking them to stay would actually make them stay.
basically i just wish everything was simpler i wish i could go to school every morning chewing peanut butter bread in my both side of my filled cheeks on my way to the train station without being judged with me reading my favourite book on the train without being pushed and tossed about by angsty people on board and walk to school without being all sweaty and messed up by the time i reach school and have everyone's eyes fixed on my messed up self being judged head to toe because i'm not as classy as those high-end girls from fashion department and just 'cause i wore shirt jeans and sneaks and i had a book on my hand that day and i wish i could stay after school everyday without being judged by em' hard workers if i did my work or not and just set myself away from everyone else with Sleeping At Last in my album playlist playing through my earpiece whilst painting whatever i want relevant to my emotions at that present moment even if it was ugly because i hate going home and i'm not as lucky to go home to find myself in peace and i wish i knew nobody that were around me because being around people makes me nervous and shaky and i like feeling at peace and at the end of the day i wish i could walk home with my earpiece plugged in listening songs that make me feel even calmer cause I've ended the day productive with nice music stuck in my head.
sad to say art industry is nothing about being alone.
is about knowing people.
competing.
surviving.
even if i don't want to.
it's about having a choice between kill or die
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