"Atlas alaska: the last frontier"

A T L A S / A L A S K A

Taken with iPhone 5c

here's the aftermath video series of what really went down after the two weeks of mission trip -- I've battled hard and saved much for this trip and I've been planning for this trip for months, and I'm back with many thoughts. 

In light of Alaska, I've never really thought I've deserved this trip even thought I worked hard for this, and throughout the trip I've been more pessimistic than ever - I've been comparing my stand with many people, telling myself that another person would have done a better job at socialising, at giving, at learning, and speaking - at achieving many things to take back to where I stayed, to be a better person to tell the odyssey of the things I could have learnt during my three weeks in this beautiful place. 

When I came back to Singapore, the greatest fear that truly engulfed me was the fact that the first question people were gonna swamp me over was my experience in Alaska that people did not have, and that really put a fist in my throat because I knew that I wasn't gonna sugarcoat my words - For a pessimist to be totally inept in expression, is nothing sort of fun especially when people are expecting big things.

In all honestly, I would not say that I came back to Singapore feeling like the biggest man in Los Angeles but I've learnt many things about myself that I never knew of, the limits to my inward introvert that I never deciphered 'till I spend three weeks with people that had an absolute differing culture, the amount of times I broke down so hard I was literally gasping for air each time I felt like I worked so hard for something I did not deserve or justify, and the many times I shut down my emotions when I realised that people started rejecting my difference in culture and in speech, and probable mannerism that I unintentionally put up. 

I am sad to say that I also came back feeling more guarded than usual, because my greatest fear is disappointing people. I would have thought I would come back feeling more liberated, but it's funny because I saw a world I never knew existed and now I cannot unsee that world I want to live in, and it has donned on me that coming back has descended me back to reality.

I am never the person in good advocate of amiable words but here are the visuals of the beautiful place I've been blessed to indulge in, and most of all, it would have all been different if not for the friends in Alaska I've met who have made my trip worth every blood and tears. People in Alaska are nothing but made of love and the depth of love goes way beyond my competency - and I thank each of them for the opportunity.

This trip has taught me to learn more than to live, more what I need than what I want; for though I wish I could tell the world what I've seen and learnt for myself, this would probably speak better instead for me.

Once again I will be eternally grateful for the people in my life who have supported me and my wildest dreams that I thought I'd have never achieve till I kick the bucket 

but C'est la vie -

this sojourn has brought me far to who I've always wanted to be, it's a constant battle but I've finally found out what I really want for myself - the person I want to become and not what people want of me, and this time I've made it

I made it to Alaska - 

As much as it was painstaking for every effort needed for this, and it has not been a breeze trying to fit in with all the cultural shock, Alaska has done more justice than I expected for I've been smitten the second it welcomed me with its cold weather (which I love) yet with the warmest embrace, the landscapes of Alaska has rushed every adrenaline existing in me and captivated every ounce of my attention -

once for myself, for once I dreamt and now I've been.

xo

(more videos and pictures coming up from this trip on how I planned this trip, the 
process of working for it, and the experience in the two weeks of mission trip)