"the purpose of a man's heart are deep waters,
but a man of understanding draws them out"
20:5
some are for the noble purposes and some ignoble; I can't seem wrap my head around
to believe this ludicrous situation but I think I finally found myself some final courage
with burgeoning feelings for a boy after much redemption and declaration -
.
.
.
I am half too much to admit albeit condescendingly-so
and I also hate the connotations along with it and its ability to make me lose my composure and control. I fear, the entire idea of being vulnerable to one who will soon have the power to give me the world, but also have the power to take away the world in a matter of a single-seconded decision or a subtle mistake, But I also remember making a few decisions to be open to them, and to never question.
I am quite unsure where this will go from here but I know I am absolutely learning - to love somebody and to love myself in the process of it and this has changed my utter perspectives in ways I"ve never thought before, has taught me lessons, and has actually taught me to decipher myself and the past differences: learning to love/actually loving in the waiting and has taught me to feel again for someone even after the previous time, and I guess what makes now will be not where it will go from here; but what I will become, from here.
perhaps too early for time to tell, but at the very least,
I now know I am actually capable of feeling.
and I also hate the connotations along with it and its ability to make me lose my composure and control. I fear, the entire idea of being vulnerable to one who will soon have the power to give me the world, but also have the power to take away the world in a matter of a single-seconded decision or a subtle mistake, But I also remember making a few decisions to be open to them, and to never question.
I am quite unsure where this will go from here but I know I am absolutely learning - to love somebody and to love myself in the process of it and this has changed my utter perspectives in ways I"ve never thought before, has taught me lessons, and has actually taught me to decipher myself and the past differences: learning to love/actually loving in the waiting and has taught me to feel again for someone even after the previous time, and I guess what makes now will be not where it will go from here; but what I will become, from here.
perhaps too early for time to tell, but at the very least,
I now know I am actually capable of feeling.
No comments:
Post a Comment