"My say on your say"

These few days, every one has been reminding me that I've been gaining weight and that I have gotten more pimply and that art school is a waste of my flippin' time and effort and everything else nasty--- Maybe it's time I said something 'cause just because I'm quiet doesn't mean I don't have an opinion, so  I hereby solemnly declare that I do not give a single hoot about these unnecessary things as they are irrelevant to my current life.

Firstly,  I know that I am not socially deemed skinny neither am I adherently of the society's standards, however I think I am very healthy, and I'm happy that the very least I do something about it at the gyms, and I think that itself is enough for me and I'm very glad that God blessed me with this body. So call me a fat piece of lard ball who you blatantly claim am not gonna get married in the near future; I honestly just want to work on purely my character and I'd rather be a ball of lard with a good heart, Really. (Even if I'm not fit to marry)

Secondly, the say that art school being an outcast of society is conventional, and me being in an art school makes me a social outcast, and there is no way I can control nor castrate that fact. However, I really think that art students deserves some credits, because although you don't see us at neighbourhood Starbucks slogging off on a historical or an economical essay physically,you have no idea what happens in the basements of my school where the other kids are literally working their butts off trying to rise up to the vague lines of what the society calls art--- Because of what they love, and even if it means people looking down on us, we still do what we can and because to mould towards the government's tethered idea of being intelligent, means conformation to someone else's desire. True enough, people who get to enter universities in my country are utterly intelligent beings, and I have deep respect for them. But moving into a different form of intelligence in my own arbitrary perspective shows I have my own stand and not just be despondent for the existing hierarchy that has stereotypically speaking, labelled the non-studying students as less capable. Some people call us the rebels, but my parents have always told me to not give up hope, when I have a dream. After all, art is a contingent solely upon an individual's discretion and I personally think it has been helping me grow in every genuine way possible, both skills and character wise. I genuinely think that my friends in school are equally intelligent in their very own ways as well. Also, if you happen to think that studying has a better future than art, I respect your opinions. I do. And I hope as much as I respect yours, you respect mine too.

Hardwork will always have good outcomes. So now that I've rationalized with all these unnecessarily dogmatic opinions asserting upon on me, it doesn't make anyone stop looking down on me, but it shows I know what I'm doing, knowing it will bring me far.

It's not a waste of time; I've learnt a lot about my potential and my innate talents I never knew of, I really thank my school, and art for their sole existence(s).

About my physical appearance, If I should say again, I know I may not at all, be up to the standards of the society's discretion and I do not have a great physique, and maybe to some I'm just a useless slob of fat---- But I honestly have better things to think about and work on in my life rather than trying to get that deemed " perfect body" that people indignantly wants me to become. So I'd appreciate it if you leave me alone because these things do not get my undivided attention mainly because, I am not interested and I am very elated with my body.

I do have my insecurities; I am very afraid of what people think of my character. I used to be very insecure about how much I weighed and how I looked, but I gradually I've learnt that life is way beyond that and I've learnt to come out of it. It wasn't easy at that phase, but I did it. Sometimes I struggle by indulging in my own world and creating walls so nobody can decipher me as a person, and whilst people see me as a ditzy, dreamy girl in her own world who is a waste of space, In my deepest thoughts and sentimental moments, all I am drawn to doing is to find ways, to save myself.


I am better off fighting towards becoming a better person, than indulging in toxic comments.
So thank you for your honest ideas, But I shall now eat my favorite banana muffin, and be happy :)