"my first experience"

I think that this place is a room full of funny people -

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You get to see people of a vast variety - how different people have different coping mechanisms  when they are drunk. It is also intriguing when they aren't; especially when they could have been the sober one in the room but they think likewise because their conscious state of mind loses its composure to reverie. I would consider myself quite crass with my inaccurate assumptions for a first experience but here're my first thoughts : It was a foreign day for me; first day in a club and of course, the Smart Alec in me decided to wear an egregious shirt of every darn thing in my cabinet; a multiple collation of irrelevant colours (one that successfully repulsed) on the surface of my skin. I will save it for its self-explanatory thesis, for you could already visualise the output of my great decision with many repulsed human beings surging away from me. Well what are the odds. 

Then again I blame my gawky imaginations because maybe people were too busy with whatever they were doing. What was still in my favor was that one of my favorite deejay was mixing some sick beats - the only reason why I landed up there. If I am being blatant enough I discreetly kinda wished in my head for everyone to magically vanish so I could just dance around with my ugly teeshirt and pretend to dance with a disney prince as if I am in a ballroom because it is more funny that way, ballroom dancing whilst the the rhythm's off. Back to my trail of thoughts I would have done that in  complete serenity without having to witness indecency and people grinding each other in drunkenness. The lighting in the room was pretty too dim to me and I realized that it started to cause some serious impediment to my sanity and clarity with these kind of gauche ideas. 

I was starting to have all these thoughts about how people's head looked like eggs but millions of eggs but the only thing that slightly intruded my thoughts was the light reflected off people's gleaming teeth - holographic for some weird reason.

I moved towards the side podium where I could stand and see the surface, le vast sea of people. I liked that I could stand still without having my space invaded by people with zero spacial awareness and strangers - I personally needed a lot of space but it was just different to be in a place that people didn't mind having no space. It is interesting how people are so blasé about their ubiquitous surrounding - I am curious to know whether it's influenced or innate and there were many things I wish I knew.                            

At the end of three AM, I was getting giddy from tons of eggs bobbing up and down before my pheripheral vision and decided to call it a night - I would say that that this obnoxious tee shirt probably saved my entire life though whilst I could have risked being kicked in the chest for it looking lurid like an almost trouble -- or a weirdo and perhaps the latter serves better. I decided I could have finished reading my book within that few hours which makes it quite unfortunate. Don't get me wrong though - I like parties. I like music and lights but being around people for way too long makes me nauseous for some reason and I feel the need to be around the exit and for many reasons I wish I could disclose to if I knew. I can't put a finger on my own mind most times.  Anyway I think despite the disdainful squints I got for wearing my shirt, I really like my shirt because it's so awkward. I personally feel that it embodies me very well -- techni-colors of flaws stitched together with good intentions and I remember falling in love with it the moment I saw it. I guess I just wore it at the bad time. I think I've fallen in love with it even more for it fending off some possible dark surging forces of evil.  I do not know what but I'm gonna pretend I know. 

Except I'm only kidding because even if I bothered or made the effort to at least look normal that night i think people were more focused on partying and having fun but I still think it's funny because it's like you are in a temporary trance that keeps you alive with hours of nasty drinking and gulping substances that does not fill the thirst and At the end of the day you feel even more empty. 

emptier than ever been.