"WORDS FROM A TACITURN"

And even after a million times having to heave breaths through gritted teeth with a stone cold conscience i still watched you crawl backwards without any remnants of anymore composure on both bruised elbows to find that pride has been on a pedestal for too long that I can't tell the difference between empathy or comfort - or the gap between you and I - I can't tell the difference between the look in your hateful eyes when I left you calloused down without slight contemplation and more condemnation and the difference between the look in your eyes that hope you held onto was still real and I cannot tell what was worst; the good times that fell apart or the consequential hatred you imposed on me with the mere truth I managed to finally say: smoking screens to make things what we want it to seem to be whilst the world looked at us and believed in love for once but from when it first fell apart and when I was young and I talked too much for a taciturn when we still had our hands intertwined because for someone who deserved nothing I literally was the luckiest for holding onto everything until we were at the lakeside and you asked me the question I could never answer for and we were back at it at the common again because I still couldn't  believe that even after five years I still think of us even after you let me leave you whilst I leaned your spine against a crumbling wall because if knew that revenge was sweet and that was what you asked for atlas: with the weight of the world with what used to be for both of us to bear I now go through calvary on my own even after you knew that holding this up alone was my greatest of fear and I don't realize the significance of your each breath  within the interception like I used to anymore ever since the gaps have started to be filled with only the words you used to say to make me feel heavy and maybe I'd rather miss the torment of the guilt traps than remember there has been a perennial fullstop to this and with each ounce of courage I gather enough to heave a breath when I think about what we went through I hold my breath so I can forget you even if it's just for a few seconds

   

And for someone like me who doesn't give a couple two sheeps on what actually  happened at all, about anything at all, neither what you were to me, nor anyone to hold; what you wished for you've done it. For someone like me with nonexistent form of emotions, you've done it well. You broke me for once.  

  

We are at the common again, 

'Cause I messed up big on this one.