It’s funny how everything finally became senseless in the spotless sun, once a blinding light — now they flicker and fold with along with the distance.
I don’t think there’s any other way to tell yourself this ever so properly - I thought for once that I finally found someone to believe in; perhaps I just wanted to find someone to believe in me for something I couldn’t. You see, it was the kind of honesty. They were the ones that reminded me that the end was merely but a distance point of view and they soon turn to nothing but a diminishing, tangible moment of truth and I believed that I could actually believe. That perhaps I can finally look at things the way as it is and not things that changed my ways of seeing. No one told me that the end was gonna stay hollow with me until the day.
There are nights where I close my eyes and I feel like I hope to feel nothing — there were days I felt like knowing feelings was so bad afterall - in fact, not bad at all. But I still shift away from the sleeves of a passerby, even from the blinds in my room that keeps my haven covered, even in my own skin it scares me inside. They once made me feel alive.
But there are other nights like today that make me feel like I am much better alone than to trust the hope that I finally found something real. I can go on about how the things that are real means dead to me now than ever and I cannot find any other reason why they should not be the way they are, for I am dead even in my pseudo self —
I hope you remember that you were once real to me — good people only do bad things to good people. That’s why I will always remember the words you’ve said to me on that night I forgot to feel that I had feelings; for I trusted them with you. Some things should not be left unsaid, these words you’ve said to me:
That I was nothing to you
even though you were all I had left.
-
Some things are better left unsaid.
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